wat bout pragnant strippers??
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
