I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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