I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
