Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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