it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
