That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She bit a glass in half.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
