You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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