you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
