just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
