Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
3 2 1 whiskey
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
