grandma shit on top of the toilet
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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