I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize