I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
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That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
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I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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