he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
