I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
