she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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