Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
