She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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