I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
