Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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