Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
