Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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