It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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