i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
