3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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