I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
being pregnant is like rehab
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
