we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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