no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
