You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
