What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
