Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
