And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize