True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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