Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
