On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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