ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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