That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
