Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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