When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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