Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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