4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
