I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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