Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
