New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
