After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
