I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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