honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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