Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
