Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
