Plan B is the new Plan A
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
