I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
