i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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