I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
