I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
