I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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