Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
