I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i dont even know how to be here
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Shitshow foam night was such a success
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
