I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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