For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
