this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
