I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
