everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Couch. On fire.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
