Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
