I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize