I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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