i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
