You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
