It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dicks are not precious.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize