just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
