do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
